Friendship Part 3 – Sentimentalism

The logic goes that as most of us, to some extent like ourselves, we tend to find our own traits desirable in others and so it is no surprise that we would seek such in our friendships . From experience though, the opposite can also hold true - someone too similar can be a cause for rivalry and hatred. In any case, sentimentalism is one of those values that I hold dear. I treasure most insignificant events as memories and hold on to them, maintaining my very own “boxes of memories” – scraps and bits from many events, scraps even as useless as old receipts or transport tickets.

Sentimentalism can probably be best explained through the ritual of gift giving. Most people will have given and received a gift for special occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries or holidays. Now it comes down to what is the value of a gift. It would be naïve to assume that the value of a gift is simply its cost, although like many, I would not complain if I did receive an expensive gift like a new car. That being said, the most valuable gifts in my eyes are those that took time and effort to either make or think of - gifts that truly have thought because it is after all, the thought that counts. For me at least, scraps of paper that were attempted by one to create some sort of object, or even a letter, would probably mean more than some expensive watch, or bag, or accessory. However, getting an object I desire would also showcase thought. If you had to simplify it, I believe gifts have both a monetary and a sentimental value and it is the latter that I value higher.

So in some ways, just as when we receive a gift, we treasure the time and effort put into it, when we are with friends and share experiences, we treasure the time and effort put into such events. That to me is sentimentalism, and it is something that I would desire in my friends. I would expect that a friend of mine would treasure the time and effort that went into making our shared experiences to the same extent that I do. It ties in greatly into history – many people retain friendships simply because of sentimentalism. That is, both parties feel the experiences they have shared are enough to continue the flame of friendship.

Indeed I know that I will always have old friends who aren’t always going to stay good friends as life continues and diverges to welcome new separated memories. But, I know that those old friends will always feel that same friendship because we had shared the experiences of puberty, that awkward phase of discovering who we are and what we want to become. I will always remember the days of playing computer games all day or playing at the local park where the only concern was staying in for cricket. Such days were shared with my oldest of friends. I also know that even though our lives have gone places and we’ve done things we could never have imagined as wide-eyed 12 year olds, those lazy summer days will still be treasured. I only expect that my good friends would feel the same.

Reminiscing on good times so bye.