The Precipice of Adulthood

So most recently I was chatting to my friend while visiting Sydney and he was filling me in on his new goals for this year of which one of the major themes was the idea that he was now going to be focussed on his career and getting ahead professionally. Our conversation eventually explored the idea that my group in Sydney is more than ever on the precipice of the transition into full blown adulthood and responsibility with about half already having full-time jobs and the other half it feels stalling university as long as possible. Needless to say, it really got me thinking about my own life and its direction.

I think it was always interesting that I knew my degree was going to be six years in duration, while most my friends were expected to be anywhere between three to five years in duration. However, now it seems that many of the degrees that were already meant to finish have been delayed either due to other commitments or changing programs. This means that many of the people now are due to finish in similar time to me (perhaps half to one year earlier given I don't fail). So now my friends appear to be stalling the inevitability that is full-time work, but more so the responsibility of being an adult. At current, I wouldn't blame them, in fact, I'm so glad I still have around one and a half more years to go before graduation.

The "quarter-life crisis", "coming of age", "growing pains" has always been a theme in my writing probably because it's always been at the back of my mind. The ideas of "fleeting youth" and "bittersweet" all point towards the fact that I probably am not ready to accept what adulthood means to me. Part of me thinks I'm foolish because adulthood has a wealth of experiences to explore, but most of me dreads the 9-5 Monday to Friday life and just living for the weekend. But then in this latter sense, in many ways this year has been pretty much just that anyway. My rotations this year are 8 week blocks with only 1 week of holiday in between. Most weeks are 8-4 Monday-Friday, and while often I get to leave by lunchtime around 1 or so, it still feels like I am already living for the weekend, and whatever short holiday I do get. So in comparison, at least when I am finally working, while I might have to stay an extra 3 hours every day and do terrible shift work overnight every now and then, at least I get paid a decent amount to actually afford the holidays and weekends away I do get.

It reminds me of the conversation I had with another friend where I said she was on the precipice of adulthood too because she was already undergoing paid full-time work. It's always scary when you look down, but sometimes you just have to believe and jump into the awe that could be adulthood. Problem is, rarely do people say that adulthood was the best time of their lives as most probably reminisce on the carefree ignorance of childhood or adolescence. That is what concerns me, that accepting adulthood means accepting that the best days of our lives are over, and I'm not ready to accept that yet. But I feel that is foolish because as everyone reminds me, I'm still in my 20s, I still have zero responsibility, and even when I have full-time work I will be in that awkward phase where I have a lot of money and no mortgage, no wife, no children and so no, as one friend coined it: "reverse-ATMs". Therefore, I will still have the potential to make every moment an awesome one and forget about "youthfulness" because that's ignorant naivity and no money, for I will have "adultfulness" with more mature experience, insight and actual money. I think I'm still conflicted and luckily, I still have two years to enjoy university. But when I go in tomorrow to the hospital and don't get paid, I can't help but think - I can't wait to accept the responsibility that comes with getting a wage even if it means giving up this wonderful phase on my life (ie leeching poverty-ridden uni student with near-zero responsibility).

Getting my thoughts out before they become fuddled by three days of Splendour this weekend.