Decisions

Sometimes decisions feel like they get harder as we get older - is this because we have the wisdom/foresight to see the chain of events that one decision can eventuate, or is it because decisions somehow have bigger weight the older we get, what is it? Like most things, it's probably a multi-factorial issue.


As for me personally, my biggest problem I have when it comes to making a decision is that I am a huge maximiser. As one of my good friends previously described (drawing from some economic principles), he feels he is a satisficer (a portmanteau of satisfying and sufficing) - he will spend a small allocated time collecting data, then make the best decision based on what information he already has, and not worry about the negative cost-benefit that comes from not making the absolute optimal decision. This is because, in his eyes, the more time spent thereafter gathering further data, can only provide slight improvements in the net outcome of the decision. Whereas for me, I always attempt to squeeze every single data point/possibility before making a decision. Often this will end up with a more complex and still sub-optimal decision that only leaves more disappointed nonetheless. There have been a few examples of this in my life in the past few years that have opened my eyes to this sometimes inconvenient tendency of mine.

One such example is purchasing flights for my upcoming holiday. In efforts to save money, I have included a few more stop-overs than required, and some flights are with low-cost carriers with self-transfers. All of these extra variables in an international journey only add risk to actually being able to make connecting flights and therefore the final destination. So although I might have saved a small amount of money, I've likely induced a high level of future anxiety levels especially if something goes against plan. But then my justification is always that any experience, even bad ones, is an experience in life - but surely some experiences are best enjoyed never occurring.

Another example related to holidays comes from my Bali trip where I spent so much time doing things/gathering experiences, even if I was not overtly passionate about them because it is part of the "tickbox" that comes from a holiday destination. And in this process of packing every single waking holiday moment with an activity, I probably spent less time being mindful and comfortable, and more so rushed, sweaty, sleep-deprived and drained; left questioning "isn't this meant to be a holiday"?

I feel the base issue with my maximising personality likely lies in this feeling that I always need to be "doing something", that any moment "non-productive" feels wasted. This probably developed from a childhood filled with high achieving expectations, pressures and coached to perfection through numerous hours in those forced tuition prisons as a young child. Luckily as I grew up, these efforts were redirected to other fields beyond academic pursuits but the underlying maximising remains.

It is something that I feel I need to be mindful of lest to not let it take over and go too far. There is something to be learnt in simply accepting situations, in not letting the anxiety of not knowing every single possibility, and in the embrace of the FOMO of missed experiences.

Learning to live with just enough information so bye.