The Future of Music

The other day I happened to reading a few articles on the musical industry, or rather the steaming mess they now call ‘Australian’ music. The magazine was ‘The Big Issue’ which I previously thought included enlightening articles from like-fully-deep (cause I failed my ATAR) bachelor of art students but instead is actually a properly published light-hearted magazine full of jokes. Well, ‘Australian’ music is just that, a big joke.

Now it’s a general fact that music nowadays is just terrible. And this isn’t coming from a middle aged guy trying to look hip again. No, I have two words that will sum up the current music stage. Justin Bieber. Oh actually, there’s more examples than just one self-declaimed ‘this is my world’ pansy. Muse producing a single for the Twilight series. Lil Jon who sucks at singing probably more than me and that’s saying something, I mean seriously:
A) he’s ugly
B) he’s got teenage grills which just isn’t hot anywhere
C) he’s crap at singing
So this makes me consider what he’s actually good at:
A) saying one word per song
B) making millions looking ugly, having teenage grills and being crap at singing
C) probably taking drugs or something that’s keeping his voice so crap

Anyhow, closer to home the music scene is somewhat worse off. In fact if you ask anyone what are some ‘Australian’ artists that aren’t half bad they’d probably come up with one or two bands: AC/DC is a definitive, then it’s your pick between Powder finger or Wolfmother. Not saying Australian’s don’t have talent but the show really only spawned a dance crew who still whinges about their terrible upbringing earning millions trying to sing while dancing.

You’re probably wondering why I put ‘Australian’ in quotes, well let me demonstrate a common example in everything except having a few snags on the barbie:
TV - Good
‘Australian’ TV - Neighbours - must I say more
Movies - Hollywood is the bomb
‘Australian’ Movies - a story about two bogans getting high is not a movie

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I am anti-Australian or pro-American. No, I’m just saying Australians are good at swimming, beaching, having the best goddamn steaks in the world, lazing anywhere anytime, and generally having a good time. But we are simply not good at making music, television shows or movies and should definitely leave it to the Americans and in some respects to the wanna-be Bollywoods. It’s simple, you don’t tell Americans to not be stupid or fat much like you don’t tell the Chinese to not be cheap or extremely bad at everything except maths.

Attempting to discover the good left in music so bye.

Note: replace Lil Jon with any wannabe gangsta (yes it’s spelt with an A) to produce the same result above