what they don't tell you

Well what they don't you when it comes to English writing is that its probably half logical half illogical and half bullshit. The other day i was studying for the upcoming examinations which included English and we 'analysed' movies for 'practice', and of course we came up with several ideas that although laughable prove both the idiocy and brilliance of high school English.

The first sequence viewed was from 'The Hangover', a popular film that has now spawned an upcoming sequel and is a narrative on a simple premise. A few guys going to Las Vegas for a extended bachelor weekend, end up winding up doing crazy stuff along the way whilst drunk/drugged and discover things about themselves. Add in a token Asian (which has more punch in the sequel centered around Thailand by the looks of it), a few big stars (such as Mike Tyson) and you got yourself a Hollywood blockbuster. Here's what some fans had to say (i.e. myself): "a film that questions the contemporary role of humans in a 21st century technologically advancing society, where conformity is embraced by many." The movie is actually about: "the key ideals of expressionism are emphasised by: the brotherhood or "wolfpack" between characters, the archetypal self-discovery journey inverted, and the faux promises of hedonistic consumerism."

The second sequence is one from 'Easy A', another successful film (as far as not bumming out goes) that alludes to and is inspired loosely by the novel 'The Scarlet Letter". Add one of my favourite actors Amanda Bynes portraying a crazy christian and add ridiculous plot lines including a teacher dating a pothead who happens to be Amanda's character's enlightening pot buddy, and you have yourself one crazy teen drama the likes of Gossip Girl of which Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) fills the shoes perfectly. Also that blonde girl from Hellcats (Aly Michalka) is in just for more teen drama. What does this all mean? Well: "Easy A reexamines the blurred verisimilitude of people's desires and who they truly are. This is examined through the disestablishment of intimacy, the conformity of impressionism and the role of women in society."

Now this whole post was actually inspired by a funny picture i came across while procrastinating on Facebook. It was Venn Diagram (the two circles one overlapping for all those non-mathematically orientated types) titled "the curtains were blue." The two sides were "What the author meant" and "What the teacher thinks the author meant" with the answers "The curtains were fucking blue." and the curtains were coloured blue to symbolise the man's growing anxiety and depression. Now this brings me onto my next point, that i'm all for conscious purposely placed 'symbolisms, metaphors and imagery' but as for the subconscious crap, well to me its like an abstract painting. Shit because any child can spill paint onto a canvas (and one did successfully according to A Current Affair). As for 'The Hangover' and 'Easy A' one cannot argue that they are hilariously good films to watch, but it might be a little too 'high school English' to claim them as anything more.

Attempting to watch movies that have a bit more drama than guys getting wasted so bye.

N.B. The Awesome Guide to high school English
Here are some good themes for any film if you're stuck analysing:
"The utilitarian journey" e.g. 'Harold and Kumar go to White Castle'
"The expressionism of art against conformity" e.g. 'Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay'
"The oppressive nature of hedonistic consumerism" e.g. 'A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas'
"The unpredictability of life's journey" e.g. 'She's The Man'

As a general rule, putting 'post-' or 'proto-' as a prefix and putting '-ism' or '-ist' as a suffix makes any word sound instantaneously smarter:
Compare the following:
escape - escapism
expression - proto-expressionism
impression - post-impressionism
modern - post-modernism

And here are some big words that really mean simple things:
I love buying things - hedonistic consumerism
I love money itself - hedonistic capitalism
I love doing stuff that feels good - utilitarian escapism
I love everyone being equal - positive egalitarianism
I love things that are considered 'gay' - personal sentimentalism

Here is the list of 'techniques' the filmmaker used:
There's a dude standing over some frightened boy: "low-angle panning"
There's a prop, costume, or setting that's important: "mise-en-scene elements"
There's a slow-motion or fast-motion thing going on: "editorial rendering"
There's a detective, or smoke, or dark scenes: "film-noir"
There's some boy meets girl where both are different: "archetypal characterisation"
There's only a room and nothing much else: "minimalistic settings"
There's some trippy colours such as icy blue: "dynamic filters"
There's some cross or Jesus-like dude: "symbolic evangelicalism".

Always pick French or foreign words over conventional English ones:
false - faux
on the scene - mise-en-scene
the end - fin
superman - ubermench
pretend - facade