Anticipation

Another semester finishes and with it is the migration of many interstate students flocking back home for the month. For me at least, there is a certain electric anticipation in the air as i wait eagerly to return soon, yet i can't help but feel the worries that my trip may not be as wild as my imagination runs it to be.

Since examinations have finished, i've actually gotten less sleep as i find myself at ungodly times addicted to "Breaking Bad", a television show about an overqualified high school chemistry teacher cooking methamphetamine to care for his family that he will soon leave due to lung cancer. My body clock has hit holiday mode, that is, an average sleep time of 3am. In any case, there is something that i'm sure many people would appreciate in the holidays and that is the ability to just sleep through the rain drops dancing on the rooftop. Rain has always been dull and depressing in my opinion, but no doubt the satisfaction of sleeping through the rain is probably its only upside.

So with the dullness of the sky comes thoughts and feelings of doubt, anxiousness and uncertainty. No doubt i am rather uncertain because i do not know how my home state might have changed since i was last there. Will my home, friends and family be the same? It is because i only expect the perfect summer again every holiday but realistically, will it ever live up to what i anticipate? The thing is i find myself in a situation that probably many people are in. I guess it's just growing up and moving on with life. It's just like when you move from primary school to secondary school and your clique inevitably changes, so should it change when you move to tertiary school. I mean being in a completely new state, i find myself with strange new friends who also are mostly interstate students as well. Similarly, my old friends also have strange new friends as well. So the question always going through my mind is will they still have time for me when i return every holiday?

I would love for it to be like my good friend's idea where every holiday we would come back and bring back all the separate broken pieces of our selves to make a perfect picture of the group, enjoying ourselves just like we did last summer. Right now though, i'm not sure about the upcoming few weeks - i often dream big, and often reality falls short of those dreams but i hope that my holiday will be as beautiful as it can be. The thing is what i really have to realise is that the summer was beautiful not because of the eventfulness or the uncertainty of the future which allowed everyone to throw their caution to the wind. No, that summer was beautiful just because i could just be with my good old friends. The thing is, can i continue holding on to them for beautiful summer-like holidays or must i move on? I guess, that is the one thing i will soon discover in time. For now though, i must pack my bags, and go home, attempting my best to squeeze every single moment out of every day.

Looking forward to seeing my friends and family so bye.