choose and purpose

"It's like we're going through the motions of a scripted destiny." Simple Plan - When I'm Gone
It may be that Simple Plan is a relatively mainstream band; most would say well known for their teenage angst songs of an "emo teenager whining about life" but it is this one line that sums up my current mood. For i feel purposeless in that i am just going through the motions of my daily life and not living life. Many would say stop being the 'teenage parasite' described in many canon texts but that's my current state of mind.


Of course as many of my friends would gladly tell you, i am not one who regularly dismisses any opportunity to have fun. Living the teh journey on several key morals and ethics including that you only live once. Time is usually occupied through: rugby including its associated training sessions, work twice a week, jamming bass style an hour a week at best, school work and interests such as music and television shows taking up much of the rest. Nonetheless with such a occupied and fun life it often makes me wonder why in fact i feel purposeless. Expectations definitely may have been let down recently in the examination period but i still have goals of beating those Grammar losers in rugby and beating that Max Wei loser in study. So then why is it that i feel so helplessly purposeless?

This is actually the second time that it has really plagued my mind enough to write or talk about it to someone else. The last time, i rang a certain friend who also felt purposeless but we decided that perhaps getting a job would correct such a problem. In fact it did, for me at least, until this stage for a little over a year. My friend on the other hand did seem preoccupied with his newly commenced occupation which opened up many new pathways in his life along with it; New dreams, hopes, expectations of which i can only hope to be fully fulfilled. To the best of my deduction my friend is still blissfully content til this day. It is he who chose the teh journey of the eradication of feeling purposeless in this life.

Purposeless to me is the feeling of a certain hole in your life that needs patching up. The hardest part of the teh journey is finding the void but i can only try. At the end of the day though, people choose the decisions that could affect their dreams, hopes, expectations, and their purpose as well. Move over "cogito ergo sum"; I am because i choose to have a purpose. Now i just have to discover such a purpose.

Actually doing work so i can rub it in Max Wei's face when i beat him so bye.
P.S. A certain lack of "the teh journey" caused uproar recently so added many.